When Selva was 16 years old he was riding a dirt bike in a paddock with a group of friends when he miscalculated a turn and collided with a barbed wire fence, resulting in a laceration to his neck. Luckily, the cut on his neck was treatable and he narrowly escaped any life-threatening injuries.
But what makes this story remarkable is that Selva was not worried about the barbed wire, or even the deep cut on his neck. He was most concerned about how Professor David David was going to take the news when he found out what had happened – because at the time of his accident, Selva was undergoing soft tissue expansion in his face in preparation for craniofacial surgery. “As a kid I was really scared of him. He was just so intimidating. I knew he was going to be disappointed because of how close I had come to injuring my face.”
Selva was born with an rare craniofacial cleft, a severe deformity of the face and head that affects both bones and soft tissue. Some of the complications for children with a rare craniofacial cleft include trouble eating and breathing, making life impossibly difficult. Because of the complexity of his case, at the time of his birth in 1983, none of the surgeons in Malaysia had the expertise to treat him. It wasn’t until a chance meeting with Professor David David at a clinic in Malaysia that his parents were given a glimmer of hope. “Professor told my parents that he would help me in Australia with a series of surgeries.” And so his journey and their intertwined lives began.
Selva wasn’t even two when he made his first voyage across the sea to Australia for his first surgery, and it wouldn’t be his last. “I believe I had over 15 surgeries, with my last surgery thirteen years ago at the age of 25.” When Selva tells me about some of the surgeries and what he went through, it is hard for me to imagine.
Often the surgery requires bone to be removed from parts of his body to help with the reconstruction of his face. “When they take the bone from your hip or your rib, that hurts a lot. You can’t even cough. You come out from anesthetic you want to be sick and your face doesn’t really bother you, but your ribs kills. If I was to scale it for pain your face might be a three but the pain in your rib will be an eight or nine.”
Anyone in that circumstance could be forgiven for feeling like they had been dealt an unfair hand, but I never felt that with Selva. He tells me of a glass half full, not half empty. How his Dad had always inspired him to be thankful for what he has and how he embraced his craniofacial difference. Selva has a presence about him. He captivates a room, and it’s not because of his height (he is very tall at 6’4”) but because he exudes kindness and warmth.
There is something about Selva that makes him uniquely special. Yes, he has a craniofacial deformity, but it’s more than that. It is a privilege to hear his stories and be transported to a time in his life through the magic of his story telling.
“Being accepted was probably the hardest challenge in regards to growing up with a craniofacial difference. When I was younger, my mum told me this story about how I came home from kindergarten. I was about 5 and it was the first time I realized I was different. Mum watched me as I came to a mirror to look at myself. I just stared at myself in the mirror. I must have heard a kid at school say something and I realized I was different. What was wrong with my face?”
When he tells me this story I am there watching a little 5-year-old Selva study himself in the mirror as he tries to come to terms with his difference. And then I notice his mum in the corner, as she watches him come to this realization. Selva continues to paint me a picture of what it was like growing up and how he now embraces his craniofacial difference. “In primary school it was a bit tough because kids weren’t used to seeing me, so on the first day I get questions like ‘what’s wrong with your face,’ and also teasing.
Kids are often too scared to ask so they just end up staring at you. Eventually they get used to you and after a while they stop looking and then you make friends. I always used to be a bit self-conscious when I walked into a room, but now I don’t feel that at all. By the time high school had come around I had learnt how to cope with it better and learnt how to explain myself.
"When I meet someone, I try and put it into conversation right away because I know everyone is wondering about it. So, you slide it in right away and generally they ask questions. You answer them. They ask a few more questions and then it’s done. It takes the awkwardness out of it and you just really get to know the person.”
After high school Selva had the opportunity to study abroad and he naturally gravitated to Adelaide. Selva studied marketing and New York (the advertising capital of the world) was where he thought he should be. In his last year of Uni Selva was applying for positions in New York, when he met the love of his life, Fotini. Selva never made it to Ney York. Fate had other plans for him. Once university finished Fotini and Selva started to hang out more, one thing led to another, and they fell in love. He knew that he was meant to be with Fotini and their home was Adelaide. Now they have three beautiful children, surrounded by friends and family.
Selva’s bond with Professor David David is unique and special and spans his whole life. Selva made so many visits to Australia and has had so many surgeries that Professor David became an integral part of his life and his story. Their relationship now extends beyond Selva’s treatment and the theatre room. More recently Professor David was a guest at Selva’s intimate wedding to his beautiful wife Fotini.
It was extremely important to Selva that Professor David was there during this amazing celebration. “I wanted him there because he gave me the gift of life. He allowed me to go out there after he fixed me up and gave me that little push to be who I am. I have a lot of respect for him. I appreciate him. Very grateful for what he has done, not only for me but for the hundreds of thousands of patients and kids that he has helped.”
Selva has partnered with Craniofacial Australia to give something back to the Foundation and to help more kids just like him. He is one of the faces for their campaign “Embrace your face”. The campaign is about celebrating your uniqueness as well as challenging social norms. “Embrace your face celebrates how everyone is unique. People with craniofacial deformities are even more unique and I think everyone needs to embrace that.
Walking out into the big bad world you need to go out there and say we are all equal and anyone can do anything.” And Selva lives by this. It has been suggested more could be done with further surgery, however, Selva has decided against this. “Even if someone said tomorrow I could do some surgery to totally remove all the scars I probably wouldn’t do it to be honest, because I have accepted the way I am. Its so important to be yourself and embrace who you are”.
The work undertaken at Craniofacial Australia is important to Selva, because he knows the difference it can make. “The Foundation helps people with deformities and go through the reconstruction phase and the physical aesthetics and obviously the other part is how to deal with it. The surgery part is just the first step and a really small part if you look at it and the other part is going into society and taking all of those steps which is probably the bigger part.”
When Selva isn’t busy helping the Foundation or raising three kids, he is focusing on his business Viper Challenge. Over 300,000 people have attended one of his events, which are large scale obstacle courses that have you trucking through mud or climbing large walls. To conquer one of these obstacle courses requires determination and resilience, just like Selva has needed throughout his life.
He has a tremendous amount of resilience and drive, which makes him the inspirational person he is today. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing to get to where he is today. “The first event we did was a total flop. Because it was such a disaster, I thought I wouldn’t do it again. It was during the failure of the first event that my first son was born. I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t try again.” It’s a good thing he did.
Today Selva has built an event’s business that spans across Asia. Even though like most events they have been affected by the pandemic, Selva’s resilience is still present throughout. “Although there is always a chance you may fail, you will always learn something. You must continue to push through, you might not succeed the first time and that’s ok.”
