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My daughter Briana was only 2 days old when she first met Professor David. I was in absolute shock when he walked in, knowing how busy he was. How amazing is it that this man cares so much about this little child that has just been born? When he held her on that first meeting, he said ‘You are the most beautiful little girl and we will do everything for you’. It made me cry on the spot. I still remember that day and how I felt – a sense of relief that somehow, everything was going to be OK.

This may have been the first time Briana met Professor, but it wasn’t mine. During my pregnancy we went for an ultrasound. There seemed to be something going on that was taking a long time – muffled voices, hushed tones. That’s when the doctor advised us that the baby in my belly had a cleft lip. We were scared. None of our friends or family had someone with the same condition, so we were treading unfamiliar water at what should have been a joyous time. I kept thinking, ‘What can we do to protect this baby?’ You know they won’t look the same as other babies. You know you are going to love this child, but what will other people think? What will their reaction be? That is the fear you experience. Sometimes you feel like you are on your own.

Professor David’s reassuring nature helped us during this time, telling us to call him if we needed anything. He helped us understand what we needed to prepare before birth, as well as explaining the surgical procedure. The support team was always there for us. Briana was born by caesarean at the North-Eastern Hospital and was the first baby born there with a cleft lip. All of the staff at the North-Eastern Hospital were brilliant. We started this journey together and we learnt together. They took her every night to feed her with the special bottles and made her formula. It was a learning curve for sure, because cleft babies have to feed differently and you can’t breastfeed. I was so worried about choking her because of the press bottle.

When we left the hospital, we felt the judgment of strangers. They would come and look at the baby and silence would follow. It's judgment you hear when people are silent. We felt like we were explaining ourselves all the time. But we got through it. She got through it. Briana had her first surgery at 3 months old, with 17 more since then. I remember how petrified I was when she was going in for her first major surgery to put her lip back together. I had tears running down my face, having to leave this little tiny baby behind. The hardest part was the waiting. Hoping she will be alright and wondering what she would look like.

When she came out of surgery her face was all swollen and had these bandages on her arms so she couldn’t touch her face. She spent two weeks in the hospital and when the swelling finally went down, I was just filled with relief. I knew he would do an amazing job, but I couldn’t thank Professor David enough! It was the first step of a long journey. 

Briana shared with me that one of the hardest things has been the bullying. Instead of playing with her, the other kids would torment her. It breaks my heart to think back on those days when she played all by herself. It’s been hard, but she has gotten through. We have been through it and it’s a waiting game, but it’s worth it. Just always talk to someone. We don’t want people to be afraid. We didn’t know of anyone else with a cleft lip, so there wasn’t anyone she could go to with the same issues. Briana always offers to be there for people who may be experiencing the same things. To help people on their journey. 

I remember thinking when she was born ‘Wow, 21 years of surgeries. That’s such a long journey,’ but here we are. She has had grommets galore because her ears were affected but thankfully no longer needs them. The cleft also affected the side of her face, so she had to have eye surgery for an outward facing eye. Briana had braces for 7 years and there is still some work to be done on her teeth, as well as the possibility of a few more surgeries. Briana is completely fine with surgeries now after having so many and tells other people, ‘Don’t worry, they’re a piece of cake!’

Briana is doing Year 12 now as well as studying to be a Vet at Tafe. She has an amazing group of friends and they are extremely close and stick by each other. All she wants is to be like everybody else, and I tell her she is. There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful.

She has grown up to be such a strong woman and I can see in her the desire to help people on their journey and others know they are not alone. She inspires me.